That chick is uber hot, now she probably thinks I’m a stalker. Oh well, it’s not like anyone ever reads this.

Life has been pretty… shitty. Sarah can’t come over again. I wanna go to Melissa’s but I have no idea how to get there. We went to a party at Ava’s today. ‘Twas ok. We stupidly tie dyed shirts for the Bulldog meet, and then watched a movie. I had to leave so I missed then ending. No girls like me, it’s very depressing.

How come Chelsea Conroy and I can’t be friends anymore? I mean we were best friends in third grade and now she won’t even talk to me.

Poker, all of the sudden, depends on Brad if we play or not. The Blickles only wanna play if Brad plays. So again this has been the fourth weekend in a row where I basically do nothing.

I thought this summed up the way I feel:

I’m surrounded by love.
but none of this love is for me
lots of cute couples
amazing relationships
that have lasted for months
people doing sweet, romantic things for the one another
hearing love stories
reading people’s live journals about their relationships
and it’s soo cute
but i’m so jealous
cause i know that no matter what anyone says
i’ll never everr have that.
and i’ll never find someone
who i love and who will love me back
and that’s all i really want right now
and need right now, is someone
who really cares about me and holds me and talks to me
because i’m so loneyy
i just want to be able to wake up every morning
and know that i have *her* and know that
she dreamt of me and that he thinks about me while shes lying in bed at night and when he wakes up in the morning.
and have pains in my  heart, but not pains because it’s empty
but pains because it’s full.. and it’s full with her and i’m full with her and her love<3
and i would always have someone to talk to, and to hold me.. besides my parents and my friends..

It’s very depressing not having a girl that you can hold, spend time with, and kiss for the hell of it.


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